Holidays with the family 

So thanksgiving is fast approaching which means family gatherings and cookouts. Love ones coming together to cracking jokes and eat. Love ones include everyone family, friends, boyfriends and girlfriends. Every thanksgiving is important but this Thanksgiving is going to be the most important thanksgiving there is. Why? Because this is the last thanksgiving we will be having all together for a while, because coming January me and my sister both will be moving to Orlando and starting school at UCF.

crazy right both of my moms daughters will be going to school. I already left the nest and now it’s my sister turn. So I figured since this Thanksgiving might be the last thanksgiving for a while I would invite my bf  that way I can have all my love ones together. But for some reason he shot down the possibility. He doesn’t even think he’ll want to spend it with them in the future. I mean why wouldn’t he? Why wouldn’t he want to be together with my family? If we ever get married they are going to be his family too.

I mean yes they had issues with each other in the beginning but then they learned to accept each other and moms couldn’t be happier for me. He knows this to be true because now they call him bother in law (lol). So why won’t he see and spend time with my family for thanksgiving? He’s not going anywhere or doing anything. 

Its been so long

Its been so long since I posted anything, to be honest I just forgot all about this app. But im back and things are going great for the most part lol. For starters i hair has grown a lot, this is a year and a half differences ☺😘. I still use Shea moisture but I added Organix Hydrating Tea Teee Oil and Peppermint oil Shampoo and conditioner. 

Here is my routine:

WEEKLY:

Sunday: Organix Hydrating Tea Tree oil conditioner Shea Moisture Deep Treatment Masque 

Wednesday: Organix Hydrating Tea Tree Oil Conditioner

BI-WEEKLY:

Organix Tea Tree Oil Shampoo

ONCE A MONTH:

Jamaican Castor Oil Shea Moisture Shampoo


Me and my ex got back together and we are doing better then ever!. He has really stepped up with helping me since my dad is useless. We have been better then ever and been getting along a lot. No more confusion and saddens. Just two people crazy in – love taking things slow.

I graduated college with my A.A. degree back in May!! First one in the family out of all the kids 🙂. I actually plan on going to UCF in the Spring of January i want to minor in Art Education and Major in Psychology. I would like to be a children Art Therapist 🎨🤗😘☺. I can put together the 2 things I love helping kids and art. My bf even plans on going back to school this coming January. We gonna have study date nights 😘😉… i know i am a kid lol. 

That pretty much sums it up about what’s going on with me… i promise to not stay away anymore 😘

STD testing

Sometime this week i will be getting tested for std (all of them). This past weekend i got drunk and broke my 3 weeks streak of no sex with my roommate / ex. It wasnt till after I have discovered he had slept with someone else over winter break when he went to see his dad… (go figured huh i had a feeling but didnt listen).anyways we don’t use protection  (yes i know stupid me) so it got me thinking if he doesn’t use protection with me maybe he didn’t with the other girl as well.

Yes Everything so far as been nothing but red flags. But i was stupid enough to believe this guy wouldn’t dare sleep with anyone else…. idiot!! So after all of that i realized i need to get tested. I don’t have an symptoms of anything but better safe then sorry.

Then i found out that he has met up with this girl while i was at work and that she may or may not have been in my house. It just pisses me off like i think so low of him right now i don’t want him touching me or looking at me. He’s whore and he knows he is especially since he said it himself. Who knows how many girls he has slept with… and then there’s me just another girl on the list.

Well not for long bucko- this is your last laugh. No more phone calls no more text messages NO MORE SEX!!! if i can hold out for 3 weeks i can push myself to hold out even longer

live~laugh~love

Yoga and God

So lately i have come to a realization that i help and guidance. That i have found myself on a personal journey that i can not do alone. I realize i need to be selfish on focus on myself for once, i need to relax and for once throw in the white towel and surrender myself. So i decided to surrender myself to God. Now when i was younger i wasnt exactly spiritual i mean i went to a Baptist school so the bible study and being in a church choir came with it.
Though as i got older i stopped believing stopped going to church. I didn’t understand thought it was not important you know. But then life happened, i lost my job and i lost myself i went positive and hopefulness to doubting and put downs. But of course in was more worried about my job so i prayed for that and he blessed me with one. Thats when i a feeling and knew someone was watching over me. So i started praying for myself asking him to guide me into becoming the woman im meant to be, the woman he wants me to be.

Then i realize i needed to work on myself psychically and de-stress myself. I needed to get rid of the tension i put on myself and that others have put on me. That’s when i found this lovely thing called yoga. Now i try to do it every morning and every night after my prayers. It seems like its working i mean i am definitely at the beginner stage but i do sleep easier and feel relaxed and free. I start and end my day right with a clear mind and a step closer to centering myself and freeing myself.

This is my personal journey that i have started for myself. I know i cant do this alone. This is why im single i have myself to worry about.

P.s. i think im going to get baptized and start going to church thankfully theres one right next door

live~laugh~love

Over waiting

I used to think that waiting for someone you love to be ready is the ultimate form of flattery and the ideal declaration of love.

It’s how all epic love stories unfold and those who waited are finally rewarded for their patience when their lover comes back to them, then I had a very simple epiphany- the most epic love stories start when two people decide they like each other, they want to be with each other and they want to make the relationship work. Love is not always going to be easy and there will always be compromises, but having to wait for someone for months or years to finally decide to give you a chance should not be one of them.

I can finally admit it i dont know what im waiting for. Am i waiting for him to declarate his love? Am i waiting for him to change? Am i waiting for him to recognize how loyal and patient i am? Am i waiting for a sign? Whatever it is i can’t do it anymore.  I need to ask myself if it’s truly worth. There is always a possibility i am waiting for something that will never happen.

Waiting for someone means that i am okay with that person treating me like i am not important or that i don’t deserve their time of day. And im not ok with that i want to be a priority not a convenience.

Waiting for someone means that you don’t value yourself enough to realize that if someone cares they will not keep you waiting or wondering. I am purposely choosing to be blind and not see the truth that i know will eventually blindside me

Waiting for someone is not a sign of strength or loyalty, it’s a sign of denial and ignoring what i already know to be true. I know and he knows i will continue putting him on a pedestal that he doesn’t even he’s  on. , i am purposely will to continue investing my all into nothing. Because sometimes patience is a waste of time.

Waiting for someone means i am ok with agreeing to be the person they “settle” for after exploring all other options. It means i am surrendering myself with rejection over and over again and acting like it’s the natural process of waiting.

Waiting for someone means i am ok with pushing away people who are willing to give me what i am waiting for immediately. It means i am telling the whole world that i don’t deserve the respect and love that i give others, that i am willing to compromise the most precious parts of myself for someone who doesn’t even try to give a little bit more.

As much as i deserve to be rewarded for my patience and as much as i deserve someone who comes back and finally claims me, i know thats not always the case. I shouldn’t put myself to the side for anyone.

If i must wait; i want to wait to be chosen every day, i want to wait to be reminded that i am special, i want to wait to be loved in the way that i constantly love, i want to wait to be taken seriously and wait for someone who doesn’t keep me waiting because they know that i deserve better.

live~laugh~love

19 things im working on every morning

1. Look in the mirror and find one thing that makes you unique.

2. Compliment myself about a physical aspect, and a compliment about your personality.

3. Give myself a few extra minutes don’t want to rush.

4. Smile, at my reflection or just because

5. Put on an outfit that makes myself  feel good regardless of others

6. Breathe deeply.

7. Listen to my favorite song, thank god for a Playlist because i have hundreds

8. Got to make sure i have time to location up

9. Wear a cute piece of jewelry that you haven’t before.

10. Wash my face, gotta rock the natural look.

11. Tell myself that you are confident.

12. Fill my mind with positive thoughts.

13. Take a moment to make myself a super healthy smoothie to start off the day. Mangos- strawberry smoothie is my speciality

14.  Of course i got to take a selfie a million selfies actually becuase the first one is never right

15. Put on my favorite perfume again i have hundreds.

16. Read a motivational quote and do some yoga

17. Thank God for another day

18. Plan one fun thing to do for myself later in the day.

19 Tell yourself you’re going to have a good day. Then do just that.

live~laugh~love

Progress

Come Tuesday ill finally be on my last semester of school. I’m 2 classes and 5 months away from graduating college. Of course i still have a long way to go but still. This is a huge milestone. Though as i am part time in school im definitely going to be looking for full time work, i mean how else is school going to get paid when i move on to my dream school?

Looking back i know i have came a long way, school was never easy and my personal life made it even harder. Though now i am right on track. School life set, now my personal life on the other hand has been a very bumpy ride. Im only 22 but i have been through enough bs to last me a lifetime. The ex boyfriend / roommate situation is ridiculous but we all knew that. Now he’s all about spending more time with me… what!? (Hey gabby news flash don’t get your hopes up, move on already). Kinda hard to do that under the same roof. Especially since he is finally giving me what you want;  attention.
He talked about moving out again for the first time in months, hopefully i find a full time job before my lease is up or its back to my mom’s i go. Is it wrong that i hope us being apart brings up back together… of course it is news flash gabby let him go. In the words of his ex wife to him “anyone girl (well guy in my case) would be lucky to have you (me)

live~laugh~love