I used to think that waiting for someone you love to be ready is the ultimate form of flattery and the ideal declaration of love.
It’s how all epic love stories unfold and those who waited are finally rewarded for their patience when their lover comes back to them, then I had a very simple epiphany- the most epic love stories start when two people decide they like each other, they want to be with each other and they want to make the relationship work. Love is not always going to be easy and there will always be compromises, but having to wait for someone for months or years to finally decide to give you a chance should not be one of them.
I can finally admit it i dont know what im waiting for. Am i waiting for him to declarate his love? Am i waiting for him to change? Am i waiting for him to recognize how loyal and patient i am? Am i waiting for a sign? Whatever it is i can’t do it anymore. I need to ask myself if it’s truly worth. There is always a possibility i am waiting for something that will never happen.
Waiting for someone means that i am okay with that person treating me like i am not important or that i don’t deserve their time of day. And im not ok with that i want to be a priority not a convenience.
Waiting for someone means that you don’t value yourself enough to realize that if someone cares they will not keep you waiting or wondering. I am purposely choosing to be blind and not see the truth that i know will eventually blindside me
Waiting for someone is not a sign of strength or loyalty, it’s a sign of denial and ignoring what i already know to be true. I know and he knows i will continue putting him on a pedestal that he doesn’t even he’s on. , i am purposely will to continue investing my all into nothing. Because sometimes patience is a waste of time.
Waiting for someone means i am ok with agreeing to be the person they “settle” for after exploring all other options. It means i am surrendering myself with rejection over and over again and acting like it’s the natural process of waiting.
Waiting for someone means i am ok with pushing away people who are willing to give me what i am waiting for immediately. It means i am telling the whole world that i don’t deserve the respect and love that i give others, that i am willing to compromise the most precious parts of myself for someone who doesn’t even try to give a little bit more.
As much as i deserve to be rewarded for my patience and as much as i deserve someone who comes back and finally claims me, i know thats not always the case. I shouldn’t put myself to the side for anyone.
If i must wait; i want to wait to be chosen every day, i want to wait to be reminded that i am special, i want to wait to be loved in the way that i constantly love, i want to wait to be taken seriously and wait for someone who doesn’t keep me waiting because they know that i deserve better.